We
have looked first at the forgiveness
that God offers us, as this is
absolutely basic to our standing
before him.
We
look now at the second part, 'As we
forgive those who trespass against
us.' At first sight it seems as if
the Lord could be teaching that we can
earn or deserve God's forgiveness if
we forgive others. But can it mean
that? Could we ever earn forgiveness
before God? Before God, our heavenly
Father, even our best efforts are
contaminated; our fairest offerings
are only, as Isaiah so vividly
describes them, 'filthy rags'. We
have fallen so far short that we can
never, humanly, put things
right. Reconciliation is all of
God's goodness. To teach that we can
earn God's forgiveness is to go
against the whole teaching of our
Lord and the whole of the Apostles'
consistent teaching.
Rather, the Lord is reminding us
that as we have known and tasted the
wonderful mercy and forgiveness of
God so we must reflect it in our day
by day dealings with those around
us. Having been forgiven we must be
eager to forgive those who have
wronged us. We must not be like the
unmerciful servant of the Lord's
story who owed his master a vastly
great amount. Being totally unable
to pay, he was freely and graciously
forgiven, but he then went out and
showed no mercy whatever on his
fellow servant. The unmerciful
servant was freely forgiven by his
master but by his behaviour to his
fellow servant he lost, he forfeited
that forgiveness. We can never earn
God's forgiveness. But here we are
solemnly warned that we can forfeit forgiveness; our heavenly
Father will not continue to have
mercy on us if we ourselves remain
stubbornly unforgiving.
Our
Lord is teaching us to pray:
'Father, as you have forgiven me,
give me a forgiving spirit.
As
you have been merciful and generous
to me, may I be merciful and
generous to those around me.
Such
a willingness to forgive is the
exact opposite of our basic human
nature. By nature, we demand from others justice,
our rights, our 'pound of flesh'
but, for ourselves, we beg to
be excused and shown mercy.
Again, the godly forgiveness we are
shown here will never be either easy or
tidy. We will be forced on each
occasion to find the right balance
between the harshness of justice
without mercy and the softness of
mercy without justice. We are to be
generous and merciful yet not to so
abandon justice that people mock us
and take advantage of us. Our
heavenly Father well understands
this, for in the cross of our Lord
Jesus both justice and mercy play a
full part, justice is satisfied as
mercy is freely offered. We are to
forgive as we have been forgiven.
What
does it mean 'to forgive'? The word
itself means 'to send away' or 'to
put away'. Forgiveness is the
putting away of the things that
would keep us apart. The aim of
forgiveness is that two persons or
parties estranged by a wrong or
trespass might be reconciled and
brought together. To bring this
about, the wrong needs to be put
away. God is willing to put away our
debt before him. We must be willing
to put away the offences and
trespasses that are committed
against us; to put away, on our
part, anything that would stand in
the way of reconciliation.
The
quiet resolve before God to be
forgiving needs to be carried into
the cut and thrust of daily living.
And so we must move from the beauty
and quietness of a chapel - where
to be spiritually minded is easy -
to the home, the work place and the
neighbourhood where it is, most
certainly, not.
Forgiveness of ourselves
The forgiveness of this second part
of the petition is primarily about
our relationship with others - and
yet we do need to learn to forgive
ourselves as God has forgiven us.
The evil one, the accuser as he is
often called in scripture, will
constantly play on and remind us of
our past failings, our guilt, our
secret sins and weaknesses or our
ineffectiveness. However
true the accusations may be, once
they have been brought openly before
our heavenly Father and his
forgiveness sought, then every time
we are reminded of them and tempted
to be cast down by the memory of
them, our strong response must be,
'Yes, sadly true, but my heavenly
Father knows about these things, the
debt is paid, and all he requires is
that I live today for him as his
forgiven child.' If God has 'put
away' our wrong doings and our
failures so must we, so that we are
set free to live in the present for
him.
Forgiveness of those we know well
The moment we become really close to
someone in friendship, courtship,
marriage or as a colleague at work
we soon discover that they are
not quite perfect! It is a well
established phenomenon that when a
new minister comes to a
church, for the first months he is
thought wonderful, fresh and bright
and clearly the answer to all the
church's problems, and can do
nothing wrong. After a couple of
years he cannot do anything right
and after a couple more they know
his every odd mannerism and
expression so well that he is merely
tolerated or ignored. You can see
the wisdom of moving often! More
seriously, it is a perfect
illustration of the fact that when
you really get to know someone you
find that they are not the perfect
person you imagined them to be but a
frail human being with failings and
weaknesses, blind spots and annoying
habits. In fact, a human being in
need of help and constant
forgiveness.
Young
people setting up home soon discover
the same thing. Indeed, the first
year of marriage is notoriously
difficult. The lady finds that her
'prince charming,' though wonderful
in the days of courtship, loses his
charm as he sits sullen and unshaven
over unpaid bills and
cornflakes!
We
need to learn forgiveness towards
those closest to us. They will let
us down. Our personal, treasured
little ways may be upset or our
possessions spoiled. We need a
constant spirit of forgiveness in
order to take in our stride the many
annoyances. Talk them out, sort them
out, but do not gather them and
nurse them as growing, unforgiven
resentments.
'Lord give me a forgiving spirit; kindness to those around me.'
Forgiveness in our society
In this fallen world we can be
really hurt, really let down,
seriously offended against and owed
much. What should we do then? What
should our attitude be? In the New
Testament, it comes across very
clearly that there are conditions to
forgiveness. The father of the
prodigal son in our Lord's parable
was desperately let down and yet ran
to meet his son. He was ready and
eager to forgive and to be
reconciled with his reckless son.
However, there could be no
forgiveness, no reconciliation,
until that son 'came to himself' and
became willing to admit his mistakes
and return home. Such a willingness
to face the truth and offer an
apology is never easy. 'I'm sorry, I
was wrong . . .' are perhaps some of
the hardest words to say. It took a
famine and the pigs' trough to bring
that son to that point! But there
must be this turning, this
repentance, if there is to be any
true forgiveness or reconciliation.
Having said that, if those who have
terribly wronged and hurt us seek
our forgiveness and an opportunity
to put things right, we must be as
willing and as eager to forgive as
the father of the prodigal son who
rushed to welcome and reinstate the
filthy but returning lad.
Moving into a yet larger scene: as
God's children wanting to honour him
by reflecting his mercy, what of
those who deliberately hurt and maim
and destroy; who deliberately steal
and cheat. What of those who would
scoff at your willingness to forgive;
who have no intention of seeking
reconciliation?
At a
Remembrance Day service in
Northern Ireland a bomb was detonated and
a Christian man lost his much loved
daughter. That father was able to
bear no malice, no hatred, towards those who
killed her. That is the Christian
reaction. You cannot forgive where
there is no desire for
reconciliation, but you can offer
it, you can be willing to forgive,
you can bear no malice. From the cross, our Lord Jesus
himself prayed, 'Father forgive them
. . .' He did not declare them
forgiven. He prayed that they might
come to the place where they might
be forgiven, and there find
forgiveness freely offered.
Agents, together, of justice and
peace
'To bear no malice.' As that applies
in each of our own personal lives,
it also applies to groups of people.
There can be great feuds between
families, tribes and
nations; people determined never to
forgive or be reconciled and living
with resentment, hatred and
bitterness; people living with a determination to be avenged.
What
part can disciples play in such
situations? Our
Father's economy is always based on
his people being peacemakers;
praying, working and seeking for
reconciliation; being willing to
forgive. And so it becomes plain
that forgiveness is a matter both
for individual disciples and for
disciples together. Hence the 'us'
and 'our' and 'we' of the Lord's
Prayer; 'As we forgive'.
At
school my German teacher, under
Hitler's regime, had lost everything
- his home, parents, brothers and
sisters: everything. He escaped to
this country and twenty years later
he was teaching German. But he was doing
more than that. He was a
godly man, and he used his position
to arrange exchange groups with
German families. This man had been
hurt so deeply and yet here he was
working for reconciliation. By the
grace of God he was free from
bitterness. Having personally forgiven, he was able to be a peace-maker.
Here is peace-making, forgiveness in practice. It is personally
very costly but it has about it - a touch of heaven.
Humanly it
is always easy to justify an attitude
of contempt, hatred or the seeking of revenge. But,
by the grace of God, may our lives
be free from these things and marked
by an openness to reason, a bearing
of no malice, an eagerness for
reconciliation - a willingness to
forgive as we have been forgiven.
'Lord God have mercy on us. Help us
to recognise our own natural and
inbuilt lack of mercy. Give us a
forgiving spirit. Give us grace, individually and together, to
put away bitterness and hatred and
to forgive those who trespass
against us, as we have been
forgiven, that your holy name may be
honoured and your will done.'
References
'Filthy rags' - Isaiah 64:6
The unmerciful servant - Matthew
18:23-35
Stubbornly unforgiving - Matthew
6:14&15
Conditions to forgiveness - Luke
17:3&4
The prodigal son - Luke 15:11-24
Willingness to forgive - Matthew
6:14
'Father forgive them' - Luke 23:34
Questions
1 To what extent is it human nature
to be like the unmerciful servant,
taking forgiveness offered to us for
granted but being none too hasty to
forgive those around us?
2 Why should we be willing and eager
to forgive?
3 How easy is it to love justice and
show mercy?
4 Is it sometimes almost hardest of
all to forgive ourselves? Yet, can
we, should we, must we? Why?
5 'Not perfect, but with weaknesses,
'blind spots' and annoying habits .
. . a human being in need of help
and constant forgiveness.' How well
does this describe those close to
us? How well does it describe us?
6 'I'm sorry, I was wrong.' When
these words are really meant, are
they some of the hardest words to
say? Why?
7 Can there be true reconciliation
without a willingness to admit our
mistakes?
8 In what situations do we need to 'bear no malice'? Are we willing
to be searching for and eager to
welcome the first hint of a move
towards reconciliation?
9 Have you known or read about
people whose Christ-like willingness
to forgive has challenged you?
10 In what ways and in what
situations would our heavenly Father
have us be his peacemakers?
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